I must confess a weakness for trials and tribulations of Phil Woolas MP.
One of my favourite memories of the 1980s is a sit down protest on Westminster Bridge in the evening rush hour with a bunch of "radical Marxist" students. As cars turned around and the police wondered about the overtime payments, we sat listening to Phil Woolas through a megaphone telling us the government of the day had taken notice of the protest and now please disperse. The response of course, was "Fuck off".
I really can't remember who coined the phrase Phil "Safe Labour Seat" Woolas but it certainly was around shortly after that incident. I had forgotten about him until completely until I read somewhere he finally got elected. Quite how many times he tried is left unrecorded....he wasn't elected till 1997.
What is recorded though is his rise to the improbable heights of Immigration Minister, before being moved because he was so crap. The man is such an apparatchik monkey, that unless he checks with the Labour Machine first, he gets into trouble with women wearing veils, anti-racism campaigners, plus his own expenses scandal. Do read down his wiki entry, it is most fun.
Quite how a Labour MP, even in a safe seat, could feed at the piggy trough, insult his electorate and still get re-elected is explained in today's Guardian. Apparently, he lied during his election campaign.
It would appear this isn't allowed and no-one at Labour Party HQ seemed to have told Monkey Phil or his monkey mates troughing in Oldham East....Hey Ho....He's appearing in a specially convened court to throw him out.
Being a good apparatchik, Monkey Phil is supporting David 'Wanker' Milliband for the leadership. He even nominated Diane Abbot on Milliband orders....the organ grinder has no sense of irony...
Anyway, Phil Woolas, the Monkey falls over. It won't hit the news, David Milliband will get elected as Labour Leader. We know we're fucked anyway, go and listen to some music instead! Try this if you need cheering up!
At that student demo, for bigger grants, back in the days when there were still such things as grants, the cops offered Phil "I want a safe Labour seat" Woolas, then president of the students union, a crap route for the march - down a few back alleys where no one but urban foxes scavenging in trash cans would be disturbed. He was expect to make a counter offer - like through the gardens of Buck House - and negotiate with the local constabulary. Instead he just meekly accepted the first pitch he was sold. Some Huddersfield students did breakaway and aim for Westminster, and got a mention on the radio for interrupting traffic - "The November Traffic Disturbance" as one wag put it. So let's hear it for Phil.
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